♥
Sunday, August 05, 2007
8/05/2007 12:48:00 AM
two days, one night. new record.
yeahh okay, sorry. I know you're all prolly gonna think that I'm trying to get sympathy from everybody, from the whole wide school and whatever. idk, what to say really. things are so complicated, idk how to explain everything to all of you anymore. I'm sorry if you all felt I used you, cause recently I've been hanging out with them. but the only reason I did that was cause you all seemed damn pissed with me, I didnt even know how to go talk to all of you. I know you all think I'm a bitch always thinking I'm not in the wrong. that's not true really, I know this thing is my fault, everything is my fault, I shouldn't have gone with them. I didnt talk to all of you, cause I thought that I rather have all of you cool down first, I didn't wanna explode into another fight like last time. yeahh you know, actually sometimes I really feel damn extra, as in you guys have known each other for dont know how long, and whenever we fight, I'm usually the one who takes the shit and all. yeahh seriously, if you all want me to go away I can. I dont see the point in me remaining, the last time we fought, it was so hard, it was the second/third time alrdy,why does there always have to be someone outside trying to intervene to help us solve everything.we always never have the motivation to go thrash things out and try make everything better, I know it sounds damn lame,but you all mean the world to me, and losing all of you sucks so badly. I dont want something like the last fight to happen again, but it seems like everything's just repeating itself. no, they aren't my better friends, they cant replace all of you at all.I know whatever I say now, you all would just think that I'm a bloody hypocrite. but still, I know how many times I say sorry wont work. I know whatever I do to try make things better would never work. I'm sorry for hurting all of you, I didnt mean to make all of you feel that I'm just making use of all of you then dumping you. I know that all of you feel I'm really not one of your true friends cause of what I've done, but there's nothing much I can say anymore, I know you all think that I'm a bitch for whatever I've done recently, idk. its hard going through all this again, I dont know if I cant take it anymore. about patching back, I dont think that it'll happen again. I think time has proved itself, we were never meant to be friends maybe, and I know you agree with this, cause its what you said, and maybe for the last time, we'll agree on something.
~I've hurt myself, by hurting you,
